Four years ago, former Republican U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum decided the way for him to get the GOP presidential nomination was to position himself as the most “pro-family” candidate in the race.

This led him to say a number of stupid things, things not worthwhile or helpful to cite here. Suffice it to say he adopted an attitude — in particular toward single mothers — leading him to come across as belittling and patronizing, and to talk of children raised in single parent homes as though they were doomed to fail at everything in life because of the circumstances of their upbringing.

To be fair, there is a considerable body of work in the social sciences that proves time and again that children raised in a single parent home are, as a general rule, less likely to do as well (by global, contemporary psychological, and material standards) as those raised in homes where both a mother and father are present.

[SEE: Editorial Cartoons on the 2016 Presidential Elections]

That’s the data, but that’s not the reality for everyone. It’s important to keep them separate, yet in the drive to be empirical (and therefore serious and correct) some Republicans use it to build a case for shaming and shunning. Instead they should see it as an opportunity to win over a bloc of voters whose allegiance is typically to the other party.

Though Santorum is not yet much of a factor in the 2016 race, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is. And for a moment at least it looked like he was headed down the same path. News reports, probably fueled by opposition researchers working for one of the other candidates in the race, recently dug up some old statements which strongly suggested the two men saw eye to eye on the issue. When asked about this, Bush replied in a way that has some suggesting he was “doubling down.”

“We have a 40-percent plus out of wedlock birthrate and if you think about this from the perspective of children, it puts a huge — it’s a huge challenge for single moms to raise children in the world that we’re in today, and it hurts the prospects, it limits the possibilities of young people being able to live lives or purpose and meaning,” Bush said, according to CNN “To assume you can have a fatherless society and not have bad outcomes is the wrong approach.”

[SEE: Editorial Cartoons on the Republican Party]

In the larger sense of the matter he’s at least partly right. Society should shun and shame men and boys who father children without regard to their responsibilities. Too many of them are simply allowed to walk away without consequence — which is bad for all concerned, children and adults alike.

Being a single parent does place some limits on opportunity. But limits can be overcome. (If you don’t believe that, just trying driving on the New Jersey Turnpike sometime.) It does present a “huge challenge” to the women who are left to raise their children alone. Indeed anyone — man or woman — who is forced by circumstance to go about the business of raising children alone must deal daily with loneliness, disappointment, heartbreak, financial anxiety and a host of other issues. On the other hand, there are plenty of so-called intact families that must deal with the same issues just as often, so where does one draw the line?

[READ: Why Donald Trump’s a Gift to Jeb Bush]

It may be helpful for Bush and others who wish to talk about the topic to consider that, while it may, again, according to the data not be the best way to live it is not necessarily a bad way to live. Plenty of single parents have produced exceptional children (and for proof of that consult my friend Janine Turner’s book on the subject, “Holding Her Head High”). At the same time, there were at least a few serial killers who were raised by both a mom and a dad.

As much as anyone else, the majority of single parents wish to be independent and self-reliant. Turning to the government for relief is often not their first choice; for some, even the idea of doing so is repugnant, humiliating and psychologically defeating. The point is that when talking about this most sensitive of subjects it is important to project empathy over the difficulties that accompany single parenting and to express support for what they are trying to accomplish in admittedly less than perfect circumstances.

To talk about it effectively is to talk about it with hope, hope that a vibrant culture with a growing economy will ease the burdens single parents are called upon to shoulder. This message, a message that circumstances do not determine destiny, used to be what the Republican Party under Reagan was all about. It can be that way again if the slide rules, spread sheets and empirical studies are set aside in favor of what used to be a very basic understanding of what the American Dream was for one and for all.

More from U.S. News

Why Donald Trump’s a Gift to Jeb Bush

Editorial Cartoons on the 2016 Presidential Elections

Political Cartoons on the Republican Party

The GOP Needs to Change Direction on Single Parents originally appeared on usnews.com