Millions of Americans are reeling, and the reason behind it has absolutely nothing to do with politics; rather, there is a widespread feeling that human decency has been violated. We’ve learned that sexism, in addition to many other forms of discrimination, is much more widely accepted in our society than most of us previously thought.
Many of the comments that we hear inside and outside of the workplace are explicit, while others are subtle, and many of us — women and men — don’t even think twice about it. It is time to address that which we may not have seen or spoken out about before, as it is a matter of respect for others.
[See: 8 Ways Millennials Can Build Leadership Skills.]
Sexual harassment is covered under Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. It includes direct sexual advances or propositions; intimidating or excluding women employees to jeopardize their employment status; and/or creating a hostile workplace for women by using sexist jokes, remarks or images.
While it is often viewed as risky to speak up, it is critical to changing our culture. It is incumbent upon all of us to break into uncomfortable conversations if we truly want there to be change. If you do not feel comfortable addressing it with the person directly, engage with human resources, diversity representatives and other allies to address the issue.
Sometimes internal outreach can lead nowhere, or at worst, to retaliation, despite systems that are supposedly set up to prevent that. The problem is that HR is often looking out for the employer rather than the employee. You can find lawyers nationwide through the National Employment Lawyers Association. All lawyers on this site are dedicated to helping employees.
Verbal Statements. The most obvious form of harassment is verbal statements. This could be catcalling, telling jokes or blatant comments about how a person looks. Telling someone you like their sweater need not be misconstrued, but stating how you can see their figure based on their clothing is inappropriate.
[See: 10 Things They Don’t Tell You About Your First Job.]
Written Statements. You might see sexist comments in an email, a letter or a performance appraisal. Bring these to the attention of a diversity representative, human resources or other designated allies in your organization. While some may reject your claim or tell you there is nothing to be done about it, don’t stop there. Take it up the chain until you find someone willing to listen, or take it outside the company if need be to a lawyer who represents employees. These are not times to stay silent and accept things as the way they are.
Requests. If a colleague is asked to send Shelly in with the annual report so he can see more of her, that is not appropriate. When a superior asks a female colleague to pick out lingerie for his wife because she’d know what to choose, that is inappropriate. You need to speak up and spread the word that this is happening and is not okay. If we rely on only a select few to do so, this casual attitude toward sexism and acceptance of it will never change.
[See: How to Quit Your Job Like a Class Act.]
Invitations. You may be asked by a colleague to lunch or coffee, which most of the time is perfectly harmless. The trouble comes when you’re receiving invites that go beyond just that; for example, when you feel pressured if someone suggests sharing a hotel room while on a business trip. Brushing up against someone “by accident” also is unacceptable and shouldn’t be tolerated.
Some people will not feel comfortable reporting these incidents. If you don’t, consult with an advocate or mentor and see if they might be able to do so anonymously. If you are concerned about speaking up to the perpetrator, empower yourself.
First, ask the person, “What makes you say that?” When they answer, you can respond with something along the lines of, “How do you think that makes me feel?” Your goal is not to immediately attack the person, but to listen and seek to understand where the individual is coming from. You may have to go further and provide a counterexample to put them in your shoes.
When you offer this chance for the person to think about what they’ve said and how it makes you feel, you may in fact force them to consider how what they say impacts another person. If many commit, we may each change one or two perspectives, and spread awareness by the example we set with the hope that others will follow.
More from U.S. News
Don’t Be That Guy (or Gal): 8 Networking Turn-Offs
8 Things You Really Need to Know About the Family and Medical Leave Act
How to Identify and Address Sexism at Work originally appeared on usnews.com