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Hundreds of thousands of federal workers are missing their first full paycheck Friday, after the Senate rejected dueling partisan bills to pay them during the government shutdown.

WTOP spoke to one federal worker who’s no longer being paid and did not want to be identified.

“I’m scared to death,” the federal worker said. “I’m worried about my future.”

Things were already tight with two children at home, and they’re concerned about paying the bills.

“I don’t know when this is going to end. Neither side seems to be ready to make it end,” they said. “I just don’t understand how we’ve gotten here.”

For the first time in their 30-year government career, they feel scared to voice their opinions.

“I’m afraid to express myself freely,” they said. “I feel like something will happen. I feel like I will be fired.”

Recent headlines, including about the construction of President Donald Trump’s $300 million ballroom, make them feel even worse.

“I’m seeing all of this gold in the White House, and I’m hearing about money being sent to other countries,” they said. “It doesn’t feel like America first.”

The Senate is scheduled to vote on a funding bill Monday. It will be the 13th attempt to pass a funding bill and reopen the government.

“I give my all as a federal employee,” they said. “I love serving the people.”