Pregnancy loss is devastating for families. One woman who went through it twice has dedicated her life to helping others and is sharing her story this October for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
“I was grieving, and I’d also spiraled down into a period of depression,” LaKisha Headley said.
She delivered her daughter stillborn in 2002 and said the road to recovery was extremely difficult, including finding time off at her job.
“I contacted the HR department, and they told me that I wasn’t approved for any leave because I didn’t have a living baby. So instead of taking the six weeks, I returned back to work within two weeks. And that was definitely a rough patch,” Headley said.
In 2014, she also lost a son from a fatal neural tube defect.
“After that particular time, I’m thinking, ‘all right, just like last time LaKisha, you can be strong. Everyone wants you to get back at it.’ So I tried to return to go back to work within the two week time period, and I just couldn’t do it. The grief was 100 times worse,” she said.
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, stillbirth affects about 1 in 175 births and disproportionately affects Black women in the United States. About 10-20% of all births end in miscarriage.
Headley now has two young and healthy sons, but having gone through the pain of pregnancy loss, she knew she wanted to help others.
“It was my goal at that time to help anyone I could that was suffering through a loss and had no one to talk to, because it can be very isolating,” she said.
She became a doula and now works for Postpartum Support International as a manager organizing loss and grief support groups.
“I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I can think about is just the sadness and my loss and just wanting to have that person to talk to. And now I have the opportunity to be a part of someone’s chosen village to help them on their journey,” Headley said.
She said she wants to help others realize it’s OK to ask for help and know you’re not alone.
“I really appreciate that I’m able to give back now and create a space where they’re not judged for any of their emotions that they may have, whether it’s anger or sadness or even happiness, because we can have some happy memories from our experiences and just knowing that they have that peer to peer,” she said.
Postpartum Support International provides a wide range of free, accessible support for families worldwide. Visit their website or call or text 1-800-944-4PPD (4773) to learn more.