Though it’s a time for celebration and joy, the holidays are frequently associated with heightened stress levels. Time spent with family, while cherished, can sometimes give rise to anxiety or tension.
With the holiday season here, the University of Virginia’s Health System is stepping up to support individuals and families dealing with the often inevitable stress that accompanies festive gatherings.
Recognizing these common challenges, Dr. Claudia Allen and Dr. Joseph Tan from U.Va Health’s Family Stress Clinic discussed ways to de-escalate potential conflicts and promote harmonious interactions.
“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings other than joy. It’s just the human experience,” Allen said.
Allen said she knows families are not perfect. Therefore, she recommended limiting the time spent together.
“Don’t expect to spend 24/7 together,” Allen told WTOP.
For instance, when going out of town to visit relatives, “instead of going for seven days, maybe go for three days. Keep it short and sweet.”
“Sometimes we think a happy family is everyone all together, but sometimes it can be fun to mix it up,” she added.
Allen even suggested doing a preplanned activity to get up and avoid uncomfortable conversations.
“If we’re spending more time around family, that just extends the amount of time where there are opportunities for us to have conflict,” Tan said.
As much as reaching for an alcoholic beverage might sound appealing, Tan said “alcohol lowers our inhibitions and interferes in our judgment,” which might be unhelpful when trying to resolve a family conflict.
Instead, he recommended going out to do activities that don’t center around imbibing.
“Even if you are hosting something at your house, I think having the ‘last call’ is OK. Bars do it,” he said.
At the end of the day, Tan and Allen said to feel your feelings during this stressful time and not to judge yourself too harshly.