Think about how you might teach someone to hit a golf ball, throw a Frisbee or be a respectful member of a family. You might tell them to strike the ball from a certain angle, grip the Frisbee with a specific form or always say “please.” But new research suggests you may have it all wrong. As it turns out, when trying to get better at something, teaching people what to do — that is, the physical movements of the task — is less effective than teaching them how to picture the outcome.

For instance, a baseball player will be more likely to get to the right spot to catch a fly ball when asked to picture the path of the ball than when taught how best to run or move his body toward it. A dancer may find it easier to learn a complex routine by following a mental picture of what a graceful dance feels like rather than obsess over the technical movements. An artist will create a more accurate sketch when someone describes the image than when someone describes what movements to make with the pen. In fact, in one study, participants who were simply told what the image looked like were almost as accurate as those who copied the image directly.

[See: 12 Psychological Tricks to Get Through a Tough Workout or Race.]

There is a physiological explanation here: In order to draw, dance or catch effectively, lots of different muscle groups are required to fire, often against each other. It’s nearly impossible to instruct your body to perform each minor movement, but creating a picture in your mind of the desired outcome — the precise drawing, the elegant dance, the secure catch — gets around that.

This is called the perceptual control theory, and can be applied to the teaching and coaching of those seeking high performance by having them picture the outcome and, assuming they have at least a general understanding of the task, let them fill in the blanks.

How often do you do that, particularly when teaching people you care about how to master a task? Many of us hold on to the people and things we love with even more feverish tightness; it’s hard for us to let a loved one attempt something when we know there’s a strong likelihood of failure. Well-intentioned parents and coaches may claim they need to show a child the way, the right way, or else she’ll be left floundering, embarrassed and, eventually, without motivation.

[See: 8 Signs You Are Made to Be an Athlete.]

But often, it’s the very act of allowing people to figure it out on their own — to flounder, to struggle, to question, to adjust — that’s most empowering and builds the strongest self-reliance. Among the most basic psychological needs that must be met for a person to feel motivated are:

— Competence: “I feel like I’m pretty good at this, and that I can get even better.”

— Relatedness: “I feel like I’m part of a loving, caring and supportive team, family or community.”

— Autonomy: “I feel like I’ve got some voice in matters that relate to me; that I can make my own decisions and not be led along without any say of my own.”

Giving people, particularly children, creative leeway to make decisions and figure things out on their own not only satisfies a major psychological need that fuels motivation, but it may also lead to enhanced performance. The product of heavy adult involvement and intense instruction isn’t always pleasant; some athletes who have been very closely guided in their technical movements become rigid on the field of play, for instance, and have difficulty deviating from their memorized movements. And when things go poorly, they’re often ill-equipped to figure stuff out on their own; after all, they haven’t much practice doing that.

[See: Mantras That Get 11 Diet and Fitness Pros Through Their Toughest Moments.]

Ultimately, there’s rarely simply one right way to do anything — cook a steak, hit a tennis ball, shoot a free throw or stretch your hamstrings. In your own teachings, see if you can help create a mental picture of whatever you’re hoping to achieve, and give your student or child the space to put some of the pieces together — no matter how disjointed or misaligned those pieces might seem at first.

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The Surprising Way to Teach Your Kids Sports (and Other Skills) originally appeared on usnews.com