Asking to take a leave of absence from work — whether you need time off for a medical procedure, to mourn a death or to take maternity leave — is one of the most stressful asks an employee can make.

But don’t let your fears prevent you from approaching your boss. Experts say there are ways to frame the request to avoid conflicts — and make approval more likely. “Do the face-to-face with your employer,” says Susan Heathfield, management consultant, company owner and writer of human resources content at the TheBalance.com. “This is not the time to send an email or a text message.”

If you’re a remote worker, aim to ask in person unless it’s logistically impossible, Heathfield says. “I don’t recommend email, except as a follow-up to confirm the details of what you agreed upon for the leave,” she says. “I always recommend this last so you are sure that you and your boss heard and agreed to the same thing.”

Before requesting time off, employees should understand what protections they have under federal law, state law and through employer policies. While you probably shouldn’t start off the meeting by aggressively listing your legal protections, having an understanding of your workplace rights will help you approach the conversation knowledgeably and negotiate the best possible solution for you and your employer.

Here’s what to know about successfully requesting a leave of absence from your job.

What is a leave of absence? It’s simple: “A leave of absence is when an employee asks an employer for an extended period of time to not work,” Heathfield says.

There are many acceptable reasons to take extended time off from your job, and some types of leave of absence, such as maternity leave, come with protections under federal law. But approving other leaves of absence, such as an extended vacation, may be up to the discretion of your employer. So it’s important to know which type you’re requesting.

Depending on your request, you may or may not continue to receive a paycheck and employee benefits during your time off. That’s why it’s important to have an understanding of the federal laws, state laws and employer policies that relate to your request before you even begin discussing it with your boss.

What is the Family and Medical Leave Act? Many common types of extended leave fall under the Family and Medical Leave Act, also called the FMLA. The FMLA is a federal labor law that guarantees up to 12 weeks during the year of job-protected leave to take care of a health condition that you or an immediate family member is facing, or to bond with a new child. In addition, it allows eligible employees to take up to 26 weeks to care for a covered service member with a serious injury or illness if the employee is a spouse, child, parent or the next of kin to that service member.

Eligible reasons to take time off under the FMLA include:

— Birth and care of baby.

— Adoption of a child.

— Care for a sick immediate family member (spouse, child or parent).

— The employee is sick with a serious health condition.

Take note, however, that not every worker is eligible for job protection under the FMLA. Eligible employees must work for employers who have 50 or more employees working within 75 miles of their office. Those eligible need to have worked at their job for at least 12 months before taking leave through the FMLA and have put in at least 1,250 hours of service.

While employers are not required to pay workers who take time off under the FMLA, they must maintain workers’ group health insurance and give the job — or an equivalent position — back to workers when they return from leave. Employers may also use a strategy in which they delay or supplement FMLA leave by using up paid time off, too.

What are good reasons to take a leave of absence? There are myriad good reasons to request an extended leave, including situations not covered under the FMLA or any other employment laws.

There are happy occasions that might be celebrated with time off work. For example, an employee may request a leave of absence to take a sabbatical, finish graduate school or take an extended honeymoon abroad. And there are unhappy reasons why time away from work may be necessary. For example, a worker may need to mourn the death of a friend or complete funeral arrangements for a relative. When these situations don’t come with legal protections, your employer may have policies outlined in its employee handbook to help deal with these circumstances. Learn how to make special requests at work.

What are bad reasons to take a leave of absence? There aren’t many “bad” reasons to take a leave of absence. Everything from a health emergency to taking time off due to stress can be fair game if you ask correctly, experts say. You can even ask for a leave of absence to attend drug rehab, Heathfield says. But you may want to keep the true reason for your leave under wraps, referring to it instead as a “medical treatment my physician recommended.” “Of course,” Heathfield says, “a lot depends on your relationship with your employer.”

If you’re choosing to take a leave of absence without pay — and the timing is under your control — then it’s likely a bad idea to bankrupt yourself in the process. You’re better off making sure that your finances and savings are strong before taking time off.

Of course, there are reasons you may be put on a leave of absence without requesting it, Heathfield says. For example, if an employee is accused of improper behavior, a company may place him on a paid leave of absence while the claims are investigated. Or an employee may need to request time off to participate in jury duty, which is typically unpaid, depending on the state and the employer.

How should you ask for a leave of absence? Before heading into a meeting, employees should “educate themselves on what [their] company’s policies say about [taking a leave of absence] and what the law says about it,” says Jeremy Tolley, a Nashville-based member of the Society for Human Resource Management’s Special Expertise Panel.

One tip: Don’t spring the request on your employer. “You don’t want to catch them or blindside them,” Heathfield says. “Let them know from the minute something is happening in your life that might eventually require you to ask for a leave, so an employer can plan and prepare.”

For example, you might want to tell your boss that you’re pregnant about eight or 12 weeks along. You don’t have to notify the entire office at that time — and you can ask your boss to keep your pregnancy status under wraps until you’re ready to share — but it gives your boss seven months or so to start preparing to cover your duties, which may include hiring a temporary replacement, while you’re out on maternity leave.

Know these tips for returning to work after maternity leave.

Try to work with your boss when possible. Perhaps you can engineer a plan where you work remotely for a few weeks while recovering from an operation. Or you can aim to take a voluntary leave of absence during the company’s relaxed offseason, not during the busy season. And keep a paper trail of FMLA-related documents and correspondence, experts say. You don’t want to be frantically searching through your work emails and medical forms when you’re trying to care for a newborn or recover from an operation.

Another tip: Make sure that you understand your value as an employee before asking for a leave of absence, experts say. It’ll help your case when asking to take time off. After all, employers are more likely to accommodate key team members’ leave-of-absence requests because they don’t want to lose them as employees.

“Be a great performer,” Tolley says. “Be really diligent in your job, and more than likely, your employer is going to try to work things out for you.”

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How to Ask for a Leave of Absence originally appeared on usnews.com