Disagreeing about money is one of three leading causes of divorce in North America, according to a survey from the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts. Although it’s hard for engaged couples to discuss their finances and investing goals, experts say doing so before the wedding can reduce a major cause of marital stress. It can also help remove an obstacle to investing, which starts with having money to invest.

[See: 10 Tips for Couples and Young Families to Build Wealth.]

“That’s the foundation. You have to get organized, analyze your financial profile, educate yourself and then invest your money,” says Nancy Doyle, author of Manage Your Financial Life, in Glencoe, Illinois.

Financial experts offered these tips for couples to get started.

Create a net worth statement. Donna Skeels Cygan, president of Sage Future Financial in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and author of The Joy of Financial Security, says when a couple first starts discussing their finances, each person should create a net worth statement, listing all financial assets and debts — and be honest.

“It will feel really foreign, but each person would bring their last year’s tax return, their most recent pay stubs, credit card bills, student loan balance, the rent payment and so on,” she says. “The idea is you’re going to lay it on the table; you’re not going to have secrets about money.”

Revealing a financial situation can be intimidating, says Kyle O’Dell, managing partner at O’Dell Winkfield Roseman and Shipp in Denver, so be respectful, not judgmental.

Compare your investments. The next step is to combine those net worth statement into one so that a couple can see which financial issues to tackle first and how to harmonize their decisions for saving and investing, especially for retirement.

“You need to take a comprehensive view of your finances. This becomes your dashboard,” Doyle says.

Putting it on paper helps make it objective. Doyle likes to create separate grids, one for assets and the other debts, as grids can be easier to understand.

So, for example, on the assets grid, each person lists all financial accounts and how they are invested. This is especially important because, despite having separate 401(k) or 403(b) accounts, a couple must work together to meet retirement savings goals. Look for overlap or areas of underinvestment that may need adjusting, she says.

If you both have money in the same mutual fund, maybe one of you needs to sell and invest somewhere else.

[See: 10 Long-Term Investing Strategies That Work.]

“As you put together this asset allocation grid, it’s the perfect time to update your beneficiaries,” which many people forget to do, Doyle says.

Settle on a savings plan. The joint net worth statement becomes the launch pad for setting investing goals, as the couple can easily see how much they can afford to sock away after establishing an emergency fund for unexpected bills.

“Commit to save a certain amount and make it an automatic deposit into an account,” Skeels Cygan says. “If you can only save $20, fine, but at least save $20.”

People are more inspired to save and invest when they have a goal, says O’Dell, whose most successful clients began saving together immediately. That allows the couple to benefit from compound interest and shows them what they can accomplish as a team, he says.

He suggests two ways couples can start investing. “Open an account and buy a stock you both like,” O’Dell says. You can open a joint account inexpensively with a firm like Schwab or Vanguard.

“Another great choice would be to buy an S&P 500 index fund,” he says. “Now you own the 500 largest stocks in the U.S. It’s a starting point.”

Embrace different investing styles. But what if one partner is an aggressive investor and the other likes to play it safe?

Skeels Cygan says couples can reconcile different investing styles in several ways. One solution is to have separate accounts, one aggressive and one conservative. Then for joint accounts, couples could compromise by settling on, say, a mix of 60 percent stocks and 40 percent bonds.

Another option is to balance out an aggressively invested joint account with a larger-than-normal emergency fund kept in liquid assets such as cash or certificates of deposit.

[See: 9 Psychological Biases That Hurt Investors.]

Either way, having different investing styles is a plus.

“They can balance each other out,” particularly when the stock market is volatile, O’Dell says. But, he adds, in the long run, the person with the more aggressive approach usually ends up with a larger investment.

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