Finding yourself reporting to a supervisor half your age can be a blow to the ego. If you feel you have significantly more career and life experience than your boss, it can be difficult to give this relationship the respect it deserves.
“When more senior employees report to managers young enough to be their own children, both parties may experience issues,” says Lynda Spiegel, a 15-year human resources professional and founder of Rising Star Résumés. “Young managers may be subliminally reminded of their parents and find it awkward to make demands, while the subordinate may resent having a younger person take the lead.”
But as we approach 2020, more and more people will find themselves in this situation, with five generations soon to be working side by side. What’s more, over half the employees in the world are now millennials (born between 1977 and 1997), which certainly increases your chances of working for someone in this age group — even if you’re a veteran in your position or industry. And the longer you’re in the workforce, the greater your chances of eventually being subordinate to someone who is, age-wise, your junior.
Here are four tactics to help ease the potential awkwardness of this reporting relationship:
1. See your manager’s role as different, not better. Thirty-five-year-old Sid Savara, a technical product manager based in Honolulu, Hawaii, has been managing teams since his mid-20s — and almost universally leading employees older than himself.
Savara believes a major reason the transition to leading older workers has remained smooth for his teams is that his employees recognize that a different skill set is required for technical aptitude versus managing teams and workload. “They realize it’s OK if I don’t have the same level of technical knowledge across all areas that they do,” he says. “My skill set and value to the team are different — not better, just different.”
Steve Gibson, director at JotForm, an online form builder, agrees. “Realize that the days of management being superior and individual contributors being underlings are over,” he says. “Don’t be offended by their duties as a manager. It can be a blessing not to have the headache of oversight.”
2. Take your ego out of the equation. If you find yourself having a knee-jerk reaction against the idea of working for a younger professional, it may be time for an attitude adjustment. While it may feel improbable from your perspective that someone born later than you could possibly have something to teach you, this perception is likely just your ego talking — especially if you haven’t taken the time to get to know your new supervisor’s strengths.
“While it can be an ego blow, it’s important to realize that the boss was chosen for a reason,” says Sandy Fiaschetti, president of Magnet Consulting. “Don’t hold a grudge. This isn’t an indictment of your skills as a worker; it’s simply that this person has leadership skills that can help you. Seek to learn from him or her.”
Fiaschetti adds that this can be a symbiotic relationship if you approach it with a learning orientation — and humility. “Offer up your workplace knowledge, but don’t overdo it,” she says. “Don’t come out of the gate telling them all the things you know. Rather, just make a genuine offer to help them be successful in the role.”
3. Don’t make age an issue. When you’re first told you will be reporting to someone younger, you may see nothing but your new boss’s age. If this happens, remind yourself that it’s your job as an employee to help your boss succeed — regardless of age or any other personal qualities about him or her.
“Age isn’t the issue,” says Alan Allard, an expert on happiness in the workplace and author of “Seven Secrets to Enlightened Happiness.” “The only real issue is your ability to work well with whatever boss you have. You can’t say your younger boss doesn’t have your experience or talent and doesn’t deserve the role she’s in — even if it’s true. What would you say if your boss was 10 years older than you and didn’t have your experience or talent?”
4. Understand that this is awkward for your boss, too. It’s not all about you, even though it may feel that way. Remember that just as you may be struggling to figure out how to make this new relationship work, your boss may also have issues with how to best manage an employee who is his or her senior.
“A younger manager won’t be struggling with ego so much as imposter syndrome,” says Matt Paddock, general manager of Grow Interactive. “So you can help by recognizing what she or he does well and giving candid feedback on where your boss has room to grow.”
Karin Hurt, CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders and author of “Overcoming an Imperfect Boss,” adds: “Know that this is awkward for them, too. What they yearn for is to be treated with the same level of respect you would give them if they were your contemporary. Starting in that space will make it easier for them to respect you and your abilities — without becoming defensive.”
Robin Madell has spent over two decades as a corporate writer, journalist, and communications consultant on business, leadership and career issues. She serves as a copywriter, speechwriter and ghostwriter for executives and entrepreneurs across diverse industries, including finance, technology, healthcare, law, real estate, advertising and marketing. Robin has interviewed over 1,000 thought leaders around the globe and has won 20 awards for editorial excellence. She has served on the Board of Directors of the Healthcare Businesswomen’s Association in both New York and San Francisco, and contributed to the book “Be Your Own Mentor: Strategies from Top Women on the Secrets of Success,” published by Random House. Robin is also the author of “Surviving Your Thirties: Americans Talk About Life After 30” and co-author of “The Strong Principles: Career Success.” Connect with her on LinkedIn or follow her on Twitter: @robinmadell.
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What to Do When Your Boss Is Half Your Age originally appeared on usnews.com